EDITED BY I, PRAETORIAN AND A HOST OF OTHERS (PERSONALITIES)
although I believe very strongly in the need for parents to take the early drug use by their children as a more serious threat than Many seem to want to believe. Testing SHOULD play a role under some circumstances.
Another problem is that many adults are chronic marijuana users themselves and feel HYPOCRITICAL to the point of denial. Many would rather lessen the illegal drug as a problem than admit that they had a problem.
For starters, my experience shows that many drug-related crimes are seriously under-reported when they occur in middle, upper-middle and even upper-class communities. Generally it’s because the victim and the perpetrator know each other or are even related. No one wants to turn in their neighbor’s kid, their own mom or husband, their best friend or members of their daughter’s lacrosse team.
I am reminded of a good friend of mine during my late teens through my early 30s. Although she did not smoke marijuana she was friends with several older teenagers who did. An older young man from the next street over who was very high at the time, came over and found her at home alone and proceeded to rape my friend. She was 15 at the time. She did not report the crime for fear that her three brothers would kill the young man and most likely they would've. This is a simple but very tragic example of how drug related crime goes under reported in middle and upper middle-class neighborhoods.
Parents, Teens and Drugs: The Conversation II
If you don’t want to be convinced that even “flirting” with drug use is potentially hazardous, you won’t be convinced. What I can tell you is that the data tell a different story.
Prescription medication abuse and addiction are such a serious problem that new medications and treatments are being developed all the time. It is quite a challenge to help people get off these drugs, especially since the withdrawal symptoms are pretty uncomfortable. People’s marriages and family relationships really suffer when a family member is just hanging on until their latest prescription can be filled. How many parents really want their kids “experimenting” on the weekends with oxyocodone, codeine, vicodin, or other medications?
What about ecstasy? Cocaine? What about crack? Heroin? Which one of these would be okay for your kids to experiment with? What would be the cut-off point? Would one line of coke be okay or six lines? What if they liked ecstasy so much that they decided to use it two or three times a months, but only on weekends?
Would you be okay with your child doing opium or LSD? What kind of environment would be “safe” for your son or daughter to hallucinate in? Would you be willing to be there in case they had a bad trip?
What about them using marijuana, which some people believe is safe because it is natural? Tobacco, poison ivy, and the ebola virus are also natural, by the way. Pot use can not only can lead to dependency, but can damage brain cells, cause serious lung disorders, trigger extreme paranoia and anxiety, and create such common and all-consuming apathy that kids have no ambition to pursue their life goals. And yes, it is a gateway drug. As much as I might have argued as a teenager the truth is exactly that. Anyone who has worked with or around recovering addicts understand that the vast majority started at a young age with pot. The people who say it isn’t simply don’t have the facts. Go to any addiction treatment center in America and ask the people who work there and the clients who are in recovery if smoking pot once or twice a week is safe.
What is a reasonable pot budget for your teen to have? Would it be okay for him or her to take money from college funds and use it to buy pot? Would it be okay for them to spend the money they saved for a trip to Europe to spend on pot? Would it be okay if they money that might have been spent on tickets to a ball game or even donating to a charity? Would you be okay with them using the money you earn, i.e., their allowance money?
Where should your son or daughter go to buy pot? What would be okay with you? How much time would you like to see your kid spend smoking pot? Getting and staying high?
Would you let your teen drive drunk? What about high? Most people couldn’t pass a driving test while drunk or high—they’d never show up for the exam in that condition. Why do so many insist it’s just fine to drive that way?
If you have a supportive, healthy family structure (even if you have problems—everyone has problems), your pre-teens and even your teens will trust you and want to talk to you about many topics. Despite the generation gap portrayed in popular media, many teens do in fact turn to their parents for advice. A surprising number of kids also do feel comfortable asking their parents about very serious issues including drug use.
If you have serious problems and rocky relationships with your pre-teens and teens, and I agree many of us do, if they live with you, you still can repair and reconnect with them. Counseling may help.
If you suspect your children are doing drugs, don’t go in there like gangbusters. Unless you regularly have open conversations with your kids, confrontation could lead to arguments.
If the signs of drug use are there (see the post, The Seven Signs Your Kids Might Be Doing Drugs), call an addiction counselor or other qualified health care professional, treatment center, call one of the many hot-lines or see Disenfranchised-Help and Hope for more options. Discuss your concerns with someone. Ask them for advice on how to handle your particular family situation. Asking your child to take a drug test might not be easy, but it might literally save his/her life and the lives of others.
