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Don't Let it Beat You!
Monday, June 20, 2011
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)
Parents, Teens and Drugs: The Conversation I
By RICHARD ZWOLINSKI, LMHC, CASAC
Edited by myself: I, Praetorian -MA, PPS, STD, WTF
Once again I would like to remind the reader that I have capriciously edited this peice mostly due to the references to the following gentleman Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, who manufactures and sells home testing kits. I believe that this otherwise important subject is compromised by pandering to Stahovich by ZWOLINSKI which takes away from the credibility of the subject.
There’s been a spirited, well actually a heated, discussion going on at Facebook and by email regarding our blog post that asks: Should parents drug test their teens?
When Zwolinski and crew did the interview with Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, a home drug-testing company, The assumption was made that readers knew the authors weren’t suggesting that all or even most parents should randomly test children for no reason.
They were addressing those concerned parents who noticed signs that their kids might be using drugs but didn’t know that home drug-testing is an option that allows for privacy and protection. They were also talking to concerned parents who don’t buy the myth that it is unavoidable or even normal, for kids to experiment with drugs. And They were speaking to parents who do not believe it’s okay, or even harmless, for kids to use drugs “recreationally”.
The responses from readers were, to me and the colleagues I talked about this topic with, passionate. Perhaps They were most disappointed (though not surprised) by the Facebook comment that says using drugs 2 or 3 three times on a weekend (not sure if this was a one-weekend party or on subsequent weekends) was “normal” for teens.
It might be common, but that doesn’t make it normal. And the difference is serious. Many kids manage to live their lives without even trying drugs once. Many, sadly, don’t.
Some people believe that experimenting with drugs is simply something teens are going to do. This is fatalistic thinking.
First, education and prevention does work. (Not for everybody and not all the time, and only if done skillfully).
Second, until very recently, people all over the world, including the United States, believed that illicit drug use wasn’t a good thing. Now we’re saying since “everybody” does it They have to look the other way.
Remember when you used to want to do something and you argued that all your friends were doing it? Your mom had a great answer for that: “Well, if everybody was jumping off the roof should I say go ahead and do that too?”
I’ve worked with literally thousands of families on every side of this issue. I know that the myth that some forms of illicit drug use isn’t a big deal is the viewpoint that gets the most play. But it actually isn’t the most prevalent viewpoint.
Most parents do not believe using drugs (or alcohol) is a simple, safe rite of passage, even if they themselves tried drugs when they were young. Now that they are adults they recognize the physical and emotional dangers. Sure, not everyone who tries drugs ends up addicted. But addiction isn’t the only danger.
There are many stories. Here’s one: I recently listened to a mom, a teacher, tell her daughter that the reason why she doesn’t want her to smoke pot is because when she was in college she passed out smoking pot and woke up to find that she was being raped. By a fellow student.
Think this is an extreme example? It’s not. Every day at the treatment center where I work, They hear how people were victimized, robbed, assaulted, and yes, even raped, because they were too high to defend themselves. Conversely, They work with parolees and prison groups, made up of men and women who committed crimes while high on drugs.
And in case you think this couldn’t happen in your nice neighborhood, you should know: Not all drug-related crimes happen in low socio-economic areas. I regularly volunteer to speak with kids-at-risk. Most of the neighborhoods where I speak are middle to upper-middle class. it seems to me the author is some what incensed regarding the number of negative replies. Having worked with so many parents I am not surprised at all.
In fact, my experience shows that many drug-related crimes are seriously under-reported when they occur in middle, upper-middle and even upper-class communities. Generally it’s because the victim and the perpetrator know each other or are even related. No one wants to turn in their neighbor’s kid, their own mom or husband, their best friend or members of their daughter’s lacrosse team.
If you don’t want to be convinced that even “flirting” with drug use is potentially hazardous, you won’t be convinced. What I can tell you is that the data tell a different story.
Part II, Coming Soon
Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is an internationally licensed psychotherapist and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction.
Edited by myself: I, Praetorian -MA, PPS, STD, WTF
Once again I would like to remind the reader that I have capriciously edited this peice mostly due to the references to the following gentleman Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, who manufactures and sells home testing kits. I believe that this otherwise important subject is compromised by pandering to Stahovich by ZWOLINSKI which takes away from the credibility of the subject.
There’s been a spirited, well actually a heated, discussion going on at Facebook and by email regarding our blog post that asks: Should parents drug test their teens?
When Zwolinski and crew did the interview with Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, a home drug-testing company, The assumption was made that readers knew the authors weren’t suggesting that all or even most parents should randomly test children for no reason.
They were addressing those concerned parents who noticed signs that their kids might be using drugs but didn’t know that home drug-testing is an option that allows for privacy and protection. They were also talking to concerned parents who don’t buy the myth that it is unavoidable or even normal, for kids to experiment with drugs. And They were speaking to parents who do not believe it’s okay, or even harmless, for kids to use drugs “recreationally”.
The responses from readers were, to me and the colleagues I talked about this topic with, passionate. Perhaps They were most disappointed (though not surprised) by the Facebook comment that says using drugs 2 or 3 three times on a weekend (not sure if this was a one-weekend party or on subsequent weekends) was “normal” for teens.
It might be common, but that doesn’t make it normal. And the difference is serious. Many kids manage to live their lives without even trying drugs once. Many, sadly, don’t.
Some people believe that experimenting with drugs is simply something teens are going to do. This is fatalistic thinking.
First, education and prevention does work. (Not for everybody and not all the time, and only if done skillfully).
Second, until very recently, people all over the world, including the United States, believed that illicit drug use wasn’t a good thing. Now we’re saying since “everybody” does it They have to look the other way.
Remember when you used to want to do something and you argued that all your friends were doing it? Your mom had a great answer for that: “Well, if everybody was jumping off the roof should I say go ahead and do that too?”
I’ve worked with literally thousands of families on every side of this issue. I know that the myth that some forms of illicit drug use isn’t a big deal is the viewpoint that gets the most play. But it actually isn’t the most prevalent viewpoint.
Most parents do not believe using drugs (or alcohol) is a simple, safe rite of passage, even if they themselves tried drugs when they were young. Now that they are adults they recognize the physical and emotional dangers. Sure, not everyone who tries drugs ends up addicted. But addiction isn’t the only danger.
There are many stories. Here’s one: I recently listened to a mom, a teacher, tell her daughter that the reason why she doesn’t want her to smoke pot is because when she was in college she passed out smoking pot and woke up to find that she was being raped. By a fellow student.
Think this is an extreme example? It’s not. Every day at the treatment center where I work, They hear how people were victimized, robbed, assaulted, and yes, even raped, because they were too high to defend themselves. Conversely, They work with parolees and prison groups, made up of men and women who committed crimes while high on drugs.
And in case you think this couldn’t happen in your nice neighborhood, you should know: Not all drug-related crimes happen in low socio-economic areas. I regularly volunteer to speak with kids-at-risk. Most of the neighborhoods where I speak are middle to upper-middle class. it seems to me the author is some what incensed regarding the number of negative replies. Having worked with so many parents I am not surprised at all.
In fact, my experience shows that many drug-related crimes are seriously under-reported when they occur in middle, upper-middle and even upper-class communities. Generally it’s because the victim and the perpetrator know each other or are even related. No one wants to turn in their neighbor’s kid, their own mom or husband, their best friend or members of their daughter’s lacrosse team.
If you don’t want to be convinced that even “flirting” with drug use is potentially hazardous, you won’t be convinced. What I can tell you is that the data tell a different story.
Part II, Coming Soon
Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is an internationally licensed psychotherapist and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
What is Psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy
John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
Psychotherapy is a process focused on helping you heal and learn more constructive ways to deal with the problems or issues within your life. It can also be a supportive process when going through a difficult period or under increased stress, such as starting a new career or going through a divorce.
Generally psychotherapy is recommended whenever a person is grappling with a life, relationship or work issue or a specific mental health concern, and these issues or concerns are causing the individual a great deal of pain or upset for longer than a few days. There are exceptions to this general rule, but for the most part, there is no harm to going into therapy even if you’re not entirely certain you would benefit from it. Millions of people visit a psychotherapist every year, and most research shows that people who do so benefit from the interaction. Most therapists will also be honest with you if they believe you won’t benefit or in their opinion, don’t need psychotherapy.
Modern psychotherapy differs significantly from the Hollywood version. Typically, most people see their therapist once a week for 50 minutes. For medication-only appointments, sessions will be with a psychiatric nurse or psychiatrist and tend to last only 15 to 20 minutes. These medication appointments tend to be scheduled once per month or once every six weeks.
Psychotherapy is usually time-limited and focuses on specific goals you want to accomplish.
Most psychotherapy tends to focus on problem solving and is goal-oriented. That means at the onset of treatment, you and your therapist decide upon which specific changes you would like to make in your life. These goals will often be broken down into smaller attainable objectives and put into a formal treatment plan. Most psychotherapists today work on and focus on helping you to achieve those goals. This is done simply through talking and discussing techniques that the therapist can suggest that may help you better navigate those difficult areas within your life. Often psychotherapy will help teach people about their disorder, too, and suggest additional coping mechanisms that the person may find more effective.
Most psychotherapy today is short-term and lasts less than a year. Most common mental disorders can often be successfully treated in this time frame, often with a combination of psychotherapy and medications.
Psychotherapy is most successful when the individual enters therapy on their own and has a strong desire to change. If you don’t want to change, change will be slow in coming. Change means altering those aspects of your life that aren’t working for you any longer, or are contributing to your problems or ongoing issues. It is also best to keep an open mind while in psychotherapy, and be willing to try out new things that ordinarily you may not do. Psychotherapy is often about challenging one’s existing set of beliefs and often, one’s very self. It is most successful when a person is able and willing to try to do this in a safe and supportive environment.
Common Types of Psychotherapy
Behavior Therapy
Cognitive Therapy
Interpersonal Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy
Family Therapy
Group Therapy
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Psychotherapy
Understanding Different Approaches to Psychotherapy
Who should Seek Out Psychotherapy?
John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
Psychotherapy is a process focused on helping you heal and learn more constructive ways to deal with the problems or issues within your life. It can also be a supportive process when going through a difficult period or under increased stress, such as starting a new career or going through a divorce.
Generally psychotherapy is recommended whenever a person is grappling with a life, relationship or work issue or a specific mental health concern, and these issues or concerns are causing the individual a great deal of pain or upset for longer than a few days. There are exceptions to this general rule, but for the most part, there is no harm to going into therapy even if you’re not entirely certain you would benefit from it. Millions of people visit a psychotherapist every year, and most research shows that people who do so benefit from the interaction. Most therapists will also be honest with you if they believe you won’t benefit or in their opinion, don’t need psychotherapy.
Modern psychotherapy differs significantly from the Hollywood version. Typically, most people see their therapist once a week for 50 minutes. For medication-only appointments, sessions will be with a psychiatric nurse or psychiatrist and tend to last only 15 to 20 minutes. These medication appointments tend to be scheduled once per month or once every six weeks.
Psychotherapy is usually time-limited and focuses on specific goals you want to accomplish.
Most psychotherapy tends to focus on problem solving and is goal-oriented. That means at the onset of treatment, you and your therapist decide upon which specific changes you would like to make in your life. These goals will often be broken down into smaller attainable objectives and put into a formal treatment plan. Most psychotherapists today work on and focus on helping you to achieve those goals. This is done simply through talking and discussing techniques that the therapist can suggest that may help you better navigate those difficult areas within your life. Often psychotherapy will help teach people about their disorder, too, and suggest additional coping mechanisms that the person may find more effective.
Most psychotherapy today is short-term and lasts less than a year. Most common mental disorders can often be successfully treated in this time frame, often with a combination of psychotherapy and medications.
Psychotherapy is most successful when the individual enters therapy on their own and has a strong desire to change. If you don’t want to change, change will be slow in coming. Change means altering those aspects of your life that aren’t working for you any longer, or are contributing to your problems or ongoing issues. It is also best to keep an open mind while in psychotherapy, and be willing to try out new things that ordinarily you may not do. Psychotherapy is often about challenging one’s existing set of beliefs and often, one’s very self. It is most successful when a person is able and willing to try to do this in a safe and supportive environment.
Common Types of Psychotherapy
Behavior Therapy
Cognitive Therapy
Interpersonal Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy
Family Therapy
Group Therapy
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Psychotherapy
Understanding Different Approaches to Psychotherapy
Who should Seek Out Psychotherapy?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Warning Signs in Children and Adolescents of Possible Child Sexual Abuse
Any one sign doesn't mean that a child was sexually abused, but the presence of several suggests that you begin asking questions and consider seeking help. Keep in mind that some of these signs can emerge at other times of stress such as:
- During a divorce
- Death of a family member or pet
- Problems at school or with friends
- Other anxiety-inducing or traumatic events
Behavior you may see in a child or adolescent
- Has nightmares or other sleep problems without an explanation
- Seems distracted or distant at odd times
- Has a sudden change in eating habits
- Refuses to eat
- Loses or drastically increases appetite
- Has trouble swallowing.
- Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity or withdrawal
- Leaves “clues” that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
- Writes, draws, plays or dreams of sexual or frightening images
- Develops new or unusual fear of certain people or places
- Refuses to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child
- Talks about a new older friend
- Suddenly has money, toys or other gifts without reason
- Thinks of self or body as repulsive, dirty or bad
- Exhibits adult-like sexual behaviors, language and knowledge
Signs more typical of younger children
- An older child behaving like a younger child (such as bed-wetting or thumb sucking)
- Has new words for private body parts
- Resists removing clothes when appropriate times (bath, bed, toileting, diapering)
- Asks other children to behave sexually or play sexual games
- Mimics adult-like sexual behaviors with toys or stuffed animal
- Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
Signs more typical in adolescents
- Self-injury (cutting, burning)
- Inadequate personal hygiene
- Drug and alcohol abuse
- Sexual promiscuity
- Running away from home
- Depression, anxiety
- Suicide attempts
- Fear of intimacy or closeness
- Compulsive eating or dieting
Physical warning signs
Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare. If you see these signs, bring your child to a doctor. Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.
- Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
- Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
- Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
What You Can Do If You See Warning Signs
- Create a Safety Plan. Don’t wait for “proof” of child sexual abuse.
- Look for patterns of behavior that make children less safe. Keep track of behaviors that concern you. This Sample Journal Page can be a helpful tool.
- See our Let’s Talk Guidebook for tips on speaking up whenever you have a concern.
- If you have questions or would like resources or guidance for responding to a specific situation, visit our Online Help Center,http://GetHelp.StopItNow.org.
Remember, the most effective prevention takes place before there’s a child victim to heal or an offender to punish.
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